Friday, August 10, 2012

Some Kind of Wonderful

Evil has devious ways of making us feel bad. Because when we feel bad, the devil feels good... And one way to make him feel bad is to feel good - even when we feel bad. Sounds like wordplay, huh?

I would often wonder, in this stage of my life, it this was it for me. What if I already met God's quota of blessings per person? And since I don't have a job yet, it's prolonging - stalling my desire to be able to settle in to a new home, help my husband, build a family...

Then there's that age problem of women on childbearing. My husband has a healthy physical lineage and so the pressure is mounting on both sides to produce beautiful babies.

Next are my personal dreams of traveling. I have seen some friends who gave up that dream in order to provide  the best care for their children. As long as their children are happy and healthy, and are going to good schools (tuition can be a b*tch I heard) then they're happy. What about my personal happiness? I know that sounds selfish but am I the kind of person (or mother) to forego my own dreams for my children to be able to pursue theirs? Is it not possible to get the best of both?

Every time these negative thoughts come to mind, I thank God for the Holy Spirit's guidance to always be thankful for what I have and what I had. I never thought I'd be able to go places I've been to but I did. I never thought I'd be where I am now, having this big beautiful rock on my finger, and having the greatest accessory there is - my husband (beats having to tote a Prada bag any given day). God made all of these possible. Surely, as long as I live, He has a way of surprising me that tops my expectations.

And every time pessimism lurks in, I always hear 'Gardo's' advise. Reassuring me that life is good, why ruin it with bad thoughts? And this came from a guy whose trials I dread happening to me.  Add to that a husband whose positivity is as brilliantly blinding, I found that optimism can actually be just as infectious.

So who am I to question the possibilities of God's handiwork in my life? He's not done yet. He has a plan for me. Plans to prosper and not to harm. Plans to continuously give me hope and a future. (Jer. 29:11) Realizing that there shouldn't be any room for malice in my heart and being happy for other people's good fortune is truly a virtue. God is biding His time, and His timing is always perfect. My time will come, as it always has. It may not be in the way I expect, but I know it would be something even more wonderful.


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