Saturday, November 24, 2007


I suddenly had this nostalgic feeling of being in our farm in Batangas (our farm… ha!) and playing with my cousins one summer.  Feeling the warm breeze with the scent of mango, banana and coconut leaves, and the sound of exotic birds chirping nearby. My parents were young and strong then and have stable jobs. I was fully dependent on them. I worry nothing but my assignments, tests grades and my crushes back in school. I remember vividly, me and my cousins used to really prepare for this big dance held at night during the annual fiesta (May 31) at the local church right under the Mango tree..

Summer days where I look forward to going to the province to be laidback and carefree, enjoying myself to a native swing made of soft rattan tied between two coconut trees.. me and my cousins crossing the ever so famous  "spooky" bridge (this was the first time I realized I hate to cross native wooden bridges.) Not to mention the unforgettable Christmas reunions and "aguinaldos" from our titos, titas, ninongs and ninangs. Even attending birthday parties where we enjoy eating Filipino style spaghetti (sweet style sauce made of banana ketchup with tomato sauce, topped with hotdog and cheddar cheese), munching hotdog kebabs with marshmallows and enjoying a game of "basagang palayok" (Filipino version of the piñata-but wayyy harder). Playing games like patintero, luksong tinik, tumbang preso (way too complicated to explain) pick up sticks, and that chinese jackstones where we get our hands grey and dirty during recess or lunch time at school.

Those were the days. Days in my life I can not rewind. Days in my life where I do not have to worry about anything but my performance in school. Days when I was still afraid of my parents or my teachers scolding (welll im still afraid of them.. bosses included). Days when I don't have anything "expensive" to buy but the latest junk food at the sari-sari store just blocks from our "rest house" (yeah-right). The times when I was always excited for summer because of family excursions at a public beach where I used to not care if the sand was gray and  / or rocky, or that if the swimmers at the public pool were all wearing t-shirts and shorts.

Even watching cartoons like Ghostbusters, Thundercats, Silverhawks, Daimos, Voltes V, Visionaries (my favorite), Hans Christian Andersen cartoons where I encountered the story of the Native American  "Hiawatha" , gospel cartoons such as Superbook and Flying house. I was a Sesame Street aficionado knowing the song " It's a rainy day, it's a rainy day…", "Everybody sleeps…" Even the Filipino version Kalye Sesame (Batibot came in later) with the opening song "Araw ay bumabati. Langit ngumingiti…" (The sun is greeting, the sky is smiling..)

Now that I have grown up, I have my own out of town, even out of the country trips without my family. Definitely my taste in music and tv programs have "matured" to Sex and the City, Grey's Anatomy, etc. – trashy soap series where everybody's screwing everyone else's lives… I know its not an ideal alternative but I learn a lot watching these shows about life, love, fashion (nobody's perfect) and friendships…

I miss being a child… I miss playing like a kid  My parents are not so young and strong anymore. My job may be more stable than my parents and dependency has been reversed. Suddenly, I am compelled to be responsible for my own finances. No more, "dad! I need this, I need that".  I have to fend for myself, find my passions and eventually meet the person  I would be living with for the rest of my life… Treading unchartered territories, testing the waters without my "mami and papi" , to boldly go where no one has gone before...Wahooo!

If only I can be a child forever. But of course, I know I have to face the music sooner…  To finally live the life the way I want, and the way God intended for me (oohhh I do hope they match)….


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