Nearly 20 days before my imminent departure from my homeland... Mixed feelings as to how I should feel. Relieved that I'm finally free? Or of panic and fear facing a new chapter where I would suffocate into the confines of married life?

Not to be overly dramatic nor negative, I still cant quite grasp the tangibility of it all. I have lived my life the way I want, defying authority, devil may care, learning as you go. Being loved, scorned, and everything in between. Now that I have found my dream, I won't be alone. With a wing and a prayer, I will brace through life of not just looking out for myself but of my future family as well... (gag?)

What should I feel? would I miss the mosquitoes biting my legs while I get transfixed for hours on the net? Will I miss my bed, the place where all my tears, prayers, and happiness  transpired? Will I miss my work? Will I miss the commute to work, mindlessly looking on the freeway with the bright blue sky above as  I contemplate on how my life would be outside all this humdrum of routine. Will I miss my office mates whom I have gotten fond of, every face coming and going in a place what I have known to be a  temporary sanctuary for the insane (aka, our office).

Ironically, I can't feel a thing, still numb waiting for the inevitable.. At least now, I feel my life is suddenly unfolding.